Making heroes super since childhood

This post was also published here for The Chess Hammer - 50% more damage than the Chess Club

The topic of Superheros came up at work. And namely, if a light-sabre can cut through anything except other light-sabres, and Superman can only be weakened by kryptonite, what would happen if we hit Superman with a light-sabre?

Superman never really did it for me, because as a hero he has it easy; he can punch all his problems into the sun.

Look out! That man has a gun!

Boof! Into the sun!

Here comes Lex Luther!

Boof! Into the sun!

How come we never go out anymore? You go out, you save the world, you come home and you sit your arse on that couch! Why don’t you take me flying anymore? You never take me anywhere! Why did I leave Clark Kent for you Superman?

Boof! Lois into the sun! And that’s why Superman is a bullshit superhero. Not because he hits women, but because he is boring. (The “hitting women” thing is not cool either. And maybe made up by me for educational purposes. I do have it on good authority that he gets a little punchy when he’s drinking whiskey though)

I did not want to be a superhero growing up. I loved what they stood for, but did not want to be one for two reasons

1.      I'm allergic to taking punches to the face (I break out in swelling), and

2.      My favourite superhero was The Phantom, and even as a child I knew the social consequences of looking for fights in purple tights. See reason 1.

For those who had normal childhoods, The Phantom is “the Ghosts who walks”. He is not really one man but 21 of them over the course of history. It has been a family business for 400 years, and father passes on the responsibility to their son so that the rest of the world thinks of him as immortal. He has no super powers, but he can shoot the guns out of your hands and deliver whopping punches to the face. He is a man who trained hard to be who he was, and he fought for good. The Phantom is a fine moral compass to any young man finding his place in the world.

When the time comes for the new Phantom he would swear an oath on the skull of his forefathers and the symbol of his mission, “I swear to devote my life to the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, and injustice in all their forms, and my sons and their sons shall follow me”. This pledge happened more than 400 years ago when piracy was piracy and his mortal enemy was the pirates the Singh Brotherhood. Not some knob from New Zealand who changed his surname to DotCom.

Is that the face of piracy today? People who host peer to peer sites? Piracy is certainly getting rounder in the face and more acne. There are the attacks on ships along the coast of Somalia I guess, but they are not rocking the skull and crossbones either. At least they get the point, but I digress...

What would happen if you hit Superman with a light-sabre?

Nerd forums explode. That’s your answer.

2011 is dead, long live 2012

Now that 2011 is disappearing in the haze of firework smoke, it is time to reflect on achievements and setbacks and hope for a feeling other than regret or shame. Hoping to avoid the feeling not unlike using tissues by yourself when you are not sick. 2011 must have been fun because it disappeared faster than the dips on Christmas day. Or was it just our dips that the flies covered? I'm not so sure now if that is an appropriate metaphor.

Anywho...

I tried a bunch of new things this year and achieved two out of the three goals. I went climbing on real rocks with a bunch of mates and now go climbing regularly, albeit indoors (it is just too bloody hot at times). I did get together with the Chess Hammer guys and did silly voices in a microphone. The only thing I did not accomplish was the first draft, but I am halfway there (whoa, living on a prayer) and look to finish that in the next couple of months when work dies down in two weeks. I have not been avoiding writing, I have just been writing things other than the novel.

Plus now I am inspired by the A Beer For The Shower's debut novel "The Missing Link", available at all good Amazons as an ebook. It is super funny and hooks you straight away with jokes about fat cats with diabetes (not a competition entry, the book is actually funny). Read their blog and get in to it.

Big shout out goes to Greg at Dogs On Drugs, your website is one slander case short of legendary and your insanity is helping me keep track of mine. I hope someone makes you a sandwich soon, preferably someone famous.

The Simple Dude in a complex world is worth a look if you're not already doing so on a regular basis.

Scott at It's MY Mind can manifest a good chuckle, get in to that too.

For 2012, life is going to get pretty busy.

• I will finish that first draft, and if it is any good, start the second draft.
• I am getting back into long distance running despite what I have said before. It is mostly because I like food too much, but there are a few ultra marathons that I want to do.
• I'm going to do more stand up comedy. I have entered into Raw Comedy, which is an emerging stand up competition in Australia. I hope to develop my act, get more comfortable on stage, and be better at writing jokes in general. The less time my girlfriend rolls her eye the better I would imagine. But with more puns.

Let's see how that goes for now, I can always re-evaluate in a few months. That's the point of goals over resolutions.

2011 is dead, long live 2012.

Look after yourselves,

Rusty

Those who think they're funny, please Stand up

Of all the things that made headlines last month, this wasn't one of them. 

My girlfriend dobbed me in to have a crack at stand up comedy. There is an open mike night here at the Rhino Room every Monday, and the people there are awesome and very supportive. Check them out if you are in the area.

The guys from The Chess Hammer and the Chess Hammer collective came out for support, we had a few local beers and pear ciders, and it turned out to be a good night.

I loved it. I was shitting myself, but I loved it. It is an amazing experience to make a room full of people laugh, and equally amazing to hear silence. 

Some of the jokes were adapted from this blog, and I will be having another crack soon. I will let you know how that one goes. It should be within the next week or so.

Unless I die in the arse...

Goal Update 3

Half the year has gone, only a third of the way through that rough draft... it is going to be a tight finish. Motivation is not the problem, I am trying to do too many projects at once. I need to step back, do some planning, and re-organise my priorities so that goals are met.

The Chess Hammer stuff is coming, it is just in an editing phase.

On the long Easter weekend I did achieve the third goal. I climbed a real rock. Have a look on the page for a picture.

Is this my shortest post ever?

Goal Update 2!

I said no excuses, but March sucked for output.

No work was done on the novel and that is just not good enough. April has been good so far though; I have written three more scenes and have attended a workshop to help with the planning and building of my book. Good advice was received and motivation at a high.

I did however write and re-write a script for The Chess Hammer. Recording is planned this week for one of our sketches. I'm really excited and looking forward to it. It would be weird if I was excited and wasn't looking forward to it but its my sentence so back off!

Take that grammar freaks.

Goal Update!

Finished research and outline last week. I am now the proud owner of the start of my first draft! Two scenes down so far, and many more to go.

February has arrived, and the following few months will be as busy as how January ended, so I need to pump out as much as I can now.

There will be no excuses.