Thursday, February 28, 2013

10 things I have learnt so far

Happy March eve people of the Internet!

I have not lived for very long, I'm closer to 30 than to 25, and in the grand scheme of things it is not very old (the Earth is 4.54 billion years for example, and still doesn't get health care), but here is a list of 10 things I have learned

  1. If you post comments on YouTube someone will think you are an idiot, whether you are one or have convinced yourself otherwise
  2. The fastest way to reach a conclusion in sickness is a get well card message: “A tree died for this card, so get well soon or I'll kill another tree”
  3. People who play video games don’t necessarily want to shoot people, just like people who play football don’t necessarily like group sex
  4. People will only take climate change seriously when the Pacific Islands have nothing but beach front property
  5. Melancholy tastes good with cheese
  6. If something is too good to be true, it is probably a cop undercover
  7. When people complain about Microsoft, I ask IT to give them Linux for a while
  8. Dancing like nobody is watching is nowhere near as fun as doing the "sprinkler"
  9. Pets are not just for Christmas, just like hepatitis
  10. One does not earn “Respect”; you pay the royalties like everybody else.