Me: “Hi Nan [I
call her Nan, short for Nanna], how are you?”
Grandma: “Happy
birthday Darl [it’s short for Darling], I’m good, how are you?”
Me: “I’m
excellent now, thank you for calling. What’s new?”
Grandma: “I’m getting
married.”
Me: “You’re what
now? Hang on let me pull over. You’re what now!?”
Take that to your front face. Not the usual conversation
about lawn bowls and bingo. I did not even know she had a boyfriend.
Logically you ask when the big day is, as you can
imagine time is not on their side. According to Nan, they have not picked a
date yet because they are trying to get their own place first. My Nan currently
lives with my Uncle, and you could him sigh with relief from next room. The last
thing he wants to hear after a hard day at work is “Honey! Hurry up! The pills
kicked in!”
Over Christmas they were going driving around the country
side in a campervan – the elderly version of a shaggin’ wagon, as a pre-honeymoon. I am now coining the
phrase, “If the campervans a rockin’… we’re probably making a cup of tea”.
I am happy for my Nan, and most of the family has taken it
well. My Grandad passed away six years ago and Nan has been lonely ever since. She
keeps herself busy as much as possible, but it does not replace what she has
lost but merely distracts her; she needed to get out there and get back on it
(only an expression). She said she would never love anybody like my
Grandfather, and I believe her, but there is no reason that she should not love
again.
Two years ago over
dinner she told me she shaved her legs for the first time. Ever.
Technically an “old growth forest” and needed government approval, but with
pins like her's it was only a matter of time that Nan was the minx of the bowls
club.
Weird dinner conversation as it is, it is also kind of cute.
There is dottiness and excitement in her age that compares to the fumbling of a young teenager
on a first date. When you look at it, there is a relationship between how
society views the fire and the passion of doing something for your partner, or to woo
a potential partner, against your age. For example writing “My love for you is
endless like the sea” on a bunch of petrol station flowers when you are:
 |
| The graph of Cuteness. Legally Binding |
A teenager = lovely but corny
Middle aged = sad
Post middle aged but Pre-retirement = ironically corny
Post retirement/elderly = back to cute
It is not impossible to be cute around the 30-50 bracket, its just a bloody lot harder. As I approach
middle age, I become more aware of it each time I get stuck in the clippers
when man-scaping.
The love letter you wrote in school would not have the same affect in the office, unless you spent time in the principal’s office for harassment. And it should not have the same affect. You are different now to what you were then. Life is different. Your responsibilities are different. What you expect from a partner is different. People, who yearn for their teenage glory years, do not be disappointed it will return in retirement. It’s just that the drugs to get you there will be different.
The love letter you wrote in school would not have the same affect in the office, unless you spent time in the principal’s office for harassment. And it should not have the same affect. You are different now to what you were then. Life is different. Your responsibilities are different. What you expect from a partner is different. People, who yearn for their teenage glory years, do not be disappointed it will return in retirement. It’s just that the drugs to get you there will be different.
Good on you Nan, I hope that happiness will follow you, and
you get it all out of your system when I go to visit you next.
Congratulations to her. About 10 years ago, my grandmother remarried at the age of 68.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to see her smiling again :)
DeleteThat's awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, "lawn bowels"? I hope there's a missing comma in there, because if not, there's something sinister about lawns that I don't know.
Hahaha! Whoops, guess some things get missed in the proof reading stage. It should be lawn bowls...
DeleteI'm sticking that graph on my wall!
ReplyDeleteBe wary of the power of graphs my friend.
DeleteBecause with great power comes great responsibility
Also goes to show that it's never to late to work on that overgrowth management.
ReplyDeleteThere is a point when you go from Beautician to Arborist though.
DeleteThat is so adorable. I hope to get married many, many, many times.
ReplyDeleteYeah she's a little cutie, and the only way is up from there
DeleteI am just curious as to how one would reach the 120% cuteness mark ...?
ReplyDelete-Ash
It causes a singularity and all the cuteness surrounding it gets sucked into it like a black hole.
DeleteLike Texas
What a lovely post. I especially liked the "Take that to your front face." and the great references to hair removal, which, ironically is what *I* just blogged about! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, it is amazing how hair removal can bring people together
DeleteAwww this is such a great post! Love the combination of sweetness and humour :) Your grandma sounds adorable and just love how she shares these moments with you. There is something so childlike, and refreshing, about her telling you over dinner that she shaved her legs! lol... Cute!
ReplyDeleteNormally I wouldn't saying anything - but since you've submitted this for Dude Write, I wanted to let you know that I noticed a typo here: "and you could him sigh with relief from next room"
Hope you win a man card of some sort - I get the impression that they are very much desired by all of you ;-)
Thanks
DeleteBut know that you pointed out the spelling error I'm going to have to leave it
Gol darn it, you're right! I never thought about it before, but there IS a ratio between age and cuteness when falling in love! Youngins are sweet, old folks are adorable and I, at 40, am smack in the middle of pathetic. It's okay, though...I only have to wait a few decades to be back in fashion, again :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I need to hurry up and get married before it gets sad
DeleteI just hate it when Lady in Red says everything I was going to say. I even saw the missing "hear" (which in itself sounds like something Dr. Seuss would say)
ReplyDeleteYour Nanna sounds awesome and the comment of the old forest had me laughing out loud.
As you'd say... ONYA!
WG
*happy glow*
DeleteThat does sound like a Dr Seuss quote :)
DeleteYour Australian colloquialisms are spot on. "Onya" is one Michael and I forgot to mention to Lady in Red and Jax
Dude, your grandma's awesome! All the best to her and her soon-to-be husband. Also like your writing style - keep up the humour!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I just popped over to your blog, very professional and entertaining.
DeleteHope to see you on more DudeWrites
Congratulation to your Nan. I'm just wondering what preceded and followed the dinner conversation about the leg shaving business.
ReplyDeleteNot much in the way of dinner followed the conversation I can assure you, and all the conversation preceding it would not have indicated the future direction.
DeleteIt was quite a surprise
I am hoping that there will be lots of peanut butter served at the reception? It goes well with tea.
ReplyDeleteNot likely :p
DeleteThey currently live in very rural NSW, they are more likely to go nuts on platters and baked goods.
Totally looking forward to that.
Yeah, it's not everyday you hear a grandmother saying she is getting married. Unless of course the grandmother is only 35 years old. (my sister in law)
ReplyDeletePumping out generations faster will help speed up evolution, and you know what that means?
DeleteThe sooner X-men becomes real :D
I can relate to this. A year and a half after my grandmother died, my grandfather got remarried. She actually passed away after a few years, and then he got remarried AGAIN only two years later. She passed away a couple years ago, and he is once again on the prowl, I think.
ReplyDeleteRereading his story, it is actually pretty sad. But he still approaches life in the most positive light, and just wants to share it with someone.
I guess there is nothing so haunting as being alone after so many years. I hope he finds happiness with whatever he finds :)
DeleteBetween your Nan shaving old growth forest and your own hard to navigate man-scaping, that's a lot of hair I'd rather not think about :)
ReplyDeleteI am 35. I am at an all time low for cuteness. Balls.
Good luck to her, I hope she is happy!