Sunday, August 12, 2012

Come on Rover, here boy!

Ladies and gentlemen, some time ago we went to bed and woke up in the future.

The world watched on Monday when the worst named Mars rover, Curiosity, did something amazing. If you have not yet seen the footage SPOILER ALERT they made it. With the world watching NASA scientists and engineers dripped sweat over their computer monitors more than they did on their prom dates. To get to Mars it takes a lot of hard work, but this is no time to rest and play. NASA intends to explore Mars for at least 2 years, I imagine so they can get their monies worth.

It only took a matter of minutes for Curiosity to beam back its first pictures from the surface. I saw it unfold streaming the streaming from Mars on NASA TV when I was at work. The 64x64 bit thumbnail crossed millions of kilometres, bounced off a few radio dishes and straight into the brains of millions of people around the world. It impressed me to no end, but I will be making a call to my telecom provider about how a robot from outer-space has a faster upload time then I do. It takes 14 minutes for a signal to reach Earth from Mars, yet how can I not watch YouTube in the elevator on my phone? It won't be on the National Broadband Network any time soon.

The Curiosity Rover is 2.9m long by 2.7m wide and 2.2m high and comes in a 899kg making it the biggest remote control car on Mars to date (it is about the size of the average car). On board they have all sorts of instruments to take samples of the air and soil for anything that could possibly support life, be it minerals in the soil, water, bacteria, chocolate, nugart, and/or caramel. If they find peanuts they are on the wrong planet.

I am happy they made it. Its good to know that with $6 billion NASA can hit Mars in the face with a robot - the SUR-face. I can barely hit the recycling bin at work with scrunched up balls of paper, so even if your target is the size of a planet, it is still at best 55,000,000 kilometres away. If I was to give $6 billion to anyone for robot droids to be sent to alien planets, NASA would be my first choice. To them its only rocket science. Second choice would be to Grover. Only so they could say "the Mars rover Grover". And then when it crashes down a hill they can say "the Mars rover Grover fell Over". But if it never left the Earth because it failed to pass the field tests in Ireland they can say "the Mars rover Grover fell over on clovers". I'm easily entertained

Not on Mars.


21 comments:

  1. Sounds like a whole routine you've worked up. Just make sure you stop to deliver the punch line...in the FACE! In the sur-FACE!

    WG

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    1. I did actually perform some of the jokes above tonight

      I'm not above stealing jokes from my own blog :p

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  2. The Mars rover Grover fell over on clovers, then flipped into the Strait of Dover :)

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    1. Because the rover is nuclear powered...

      The Mars Rover fell over on clovers, then flipped into the Strait of Dover, exploding into a pavlova super Nova in time for Passover.

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    2. The Mars Rover Grover fell over on clovers, then flipped into the Strait of Dover, exploding into a pavlova super Nova in time for Passover, which spread so far, moreover, that it even killed the Australian drover!

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    3. Ladies and Gentlemen Kianwi!

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    4. The Mars Rover Grover fell over on clovers, then flipped into the Strait of Dover, exploding into a pavlova super Nova in time for Passover, which spread so far, moreover, that it even killed the Australian drover! "Jehovah!" he exploded.

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    5. Wow, have you ever seen a more beautiful poem?? You have to keep it forever, and when you are a famous comedian and decide to write your life story, you should incude this poem in the forward, of course mentioning how amazing I am, ha ha :)

      Jehovah!

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  3. I can just see little boys everywhere wanting a "Tickle Me Rover" for Christmas.

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    1. And some of the bigger boys. Would you say no to a 899kg nuclear powered remote control car delivered to your house with a "sky crane"?

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  4. I want to hack into the NASA computer and take the rover for a spin.

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    1. The first I'd do was commandeer the laser to do some etchings for future generations to puzzle over. "In shocking news today, the first manned mission to Mars ran across a gigantic drawing of a three-way on the side of Mons Olympus. Scientists are baffled and aroused."

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  5. Love that you're easily entertained and that, in the process of easily entertaining yourself, you easily entertain us. Bringing Grover in to all this was *the* perfect touch!

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  6. lol Don't worry...6 billion dollars and I would most likely miss the rolled up paper shot too ;)

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    1. There is nothing worse then missing a shot so badly that it would be best measured in light years.

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  7. My science skills are pretty poor, but I have to wonder, what is the gravity like on Mars? I bet that Rover could do some pretty sweet jumps if they got it going fast enough. Forget the search for caramel: I want to see this thing fly off a ramp at 100 mph and slam into a crater.

    This, among other things, is why I don't work for NASA.

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    1. And probably the drinking and not having a sweet nerd Mohawk would be among those reasons.

      All six wheels on the Curiosity Rover can steer, so it should be able to do sweet donuts. Engine size? It runs on Plutonium. Essentially it is the car from Back to the Future II. Only with fricken laser beams

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  8. You are nuts.

    I went to the Kennedy Space Center and got a coffee mug covered with a list of scientific equations on one side, the statement of what the equation meant ("lift off", etc.) on the other side and "It IS rocket science around the top. ...or bottom. ...I forget. The mug broke.

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    1. It wouldn't of happened to be a Space Shuttle Columbia mug by any chance?

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