I have a
friend who is dating a girl from the country, really country, not the kind of
country connected to the city public transport, which is essentially a suburb
not yet overrun by urban sprawl. It is Greyhound bus trip or better kind of
country. And recently I almost offended her.
She is from
a remote island off the coast of Australia, and that part of the coast nearest
to the island is three hours away from anything resembling civilisation and/or decent
coffee. There is not even a bridge onto this island and only a couple 100
people live there. It is a beautiful place frequently visited by whales, seals (and
the weirdos who like to watch them) and where the Koalas have STIs (true
story).
My mate
is not from the island and they met through working together in the past. They
have been together for a while, have just gone halves in buying a house and
therefore she has a permanent place within this particular group of friends.
We all
got together recently and I was catching up with her on what she had been up to
with my mate and how the house is going. We were having a good chat and
laughing at many things, and then something came up about her home town island
in the middle of nowhere and I asked, "What do your parents think of you
dating outside the family?"
She said,
"They were worried at first, but now they're cool with it". She did
not hear me properly over the restaurant noise and she thought I was talking
about the house. I laughed. She asked why, I told her and she laughed herself
into a blushing red.
She pointed
out that I grew up in a country town where teenage pregnancy was so bad at one
stage that the average age was bucking the trend of the nation and getting
younger. The surrounding towns thought it was the water that made you pregnant,
but realistically it is the beer and lack of decent television. She asked me
where my kids were trying to get me back.
I said “it
would be irresponsible to bring my kids into a boozy environment such as this,
and that’s why they’re still in the car”. Tongue and cheek.
It was
not until after I realised that the situation could have gone horribly wrong from my initial comment. If
so I would have spent the rest of the evening apologising as much as possible,
because she is really awesome and makes my mate very happy. The last thing I
want to do is offend her and ruin everyone's evening by saying a dumb joke.
It would
not have been the first time that my mouth would open the way to trouble, and
most likely not the last. It was the conversation before that saved me and
brought it into context of the night, but it was the first time that I had a
one on one conversation with her. It still makes me uneasy about how bad it
could have gone. It is also what happens here Down Under; you are not true friends
unless you start calling each other a dickhead.
How long
do you wait before you playfully start hanging shit on new friends or new
partners of friends?
