Note: I’m not a snob and I think organic food is an excuse to whack an extra 100% on the price. Say what you want; it is not healthier for you and it would be better for the environment if they did not poison the shit out of the land before they turned “organic”. But I love that organic pizza place in town; the pizza is awesome.
I took my girlfriend out to dinner late one Saturday night and we sat on a table looking out the windows onto footpath. Around 10pm (it was a late Saturday night after all) an extremely drunk well dressed young lady stumbled out of the pub a few shops down and collapsed into one of the alfresco chairs. What looked to be her boyfriend, sat in the chair opposite her talking on his mobile loud enough for me to hear in the restaurant; he sounded like a knob.
She laid her head down and struggled with her inebriated condition while he laughed and carried on merrily. It was a beautiful contrast to behold; one will look back on a night with fondness, the other will look back and not remember a thing.
Then I saw her sit up suddenly. Her eyes rolled and her checks clenched working for saliva. She wound up, she pitched and...
BARRRRRHHH!!! Threw up all down the front of her pretty dress, all over her legs and shoes. My girlfriend was horrified. Oh how I laughed.
I went to the counter to pay the bill and the waitress asked if I had a good meal.
“Yes I did,” I replied, “but you might want to move that young lady sitting out the front.”
“Because she just threw up all over herself on one of your tables, and I don’t think it was organic.”
I got nothing.