This list came about when I was lying in bed coughing my guts up last night. I am sick. I don't get sick very often but I am sick. SA has a public holiday on Monday, the Fringe Festival is in town (the second biggest arts festival in the world), I have new jokes to prepare for a gig coming up, and my body has decided on being sick. If I didn't know better I would think my body is being a jerk.
- Changing your name to Bob will not make you more buoyant. Palindromic, but not buoyant.
- Only make friends with people who are shorter than you, you will forever be their King. Plus you get to show off by getting things off shelves.
- Exercising willpower is harder than exercise. I would rather eat a packet of Tim-Tams and run 8ks than do neither.
- When life gives you lemons, open a market store and flog them for 50c each.
- Economies come and go but jeans are forever, and sometimes that long between washes.
- Pillow fights are only fun when your winning or you're all in underwear. In which case you're winning.
- It's not the heat or the humidity that kills you, its constant need to tell me the weather on Facebook.
- Bottled water is bad for you, because paying for it just proves you're an idiot.
- Fitted sheets are only impossible to fold when you care.
- I let someone walk a mile in my shoes. They got a new perspective, I got athletes foot.
